Analog's box

  • Analog's box

Analog's box

Or a small reflection on the body, self-esteem and changes.

My father's family all have bunions on their feet. In my mother's family we have a strange specificity in which we have the second and third fingers united at the base. Genetics is against me, but it's not just that.

I practiced girls' sports, and especially figure skating made us even harder, since I was forced to press my feet into my skates boots, two or three pairs of socks, which accentuated the tendency for bunions and calluses on the toes (which for being so long already look like peanuts) and that there is no pedicure that is safe. At last we have added to it a characteristic of mine, on the outer sides of my feet, the bony structure stuck somewhere in the middle, something that sometimes causes me to be utterly silly imbalances when I am haunted! This in addition to widening my foot, not allowing me to wear some models of shoes, and being ugly, of course.

I just found this photo in my personal instagram, from two years ago. And I loved to review them.

These are my feet, those who tell family stories and my story, in general. My peanuts, dried and veined, instead of the foot of Shrek that I developed now at the end of the pregnancy. And I tell you, I'm anxious to have them like that again, ugly as they were. I no longer remembered the "before" aspect very well, and I have been thinking of them, I miss them feeling strong and without pains of constant swelling.

I know that my feet are anything but beautiful, but I can not stop doing everything to make them comfortable. Even though they are uglier now, they walk in the sand, or in slippers, with all the defects very visible to anyone who wants to see. Sometimes the pedicure failed, but I never stopped going to the beach, wearing sandals, catching air when they needed to.

I do not mean by this that I am in favor of a person being sloppy, but sometimes we have to let go of the control of wanting to be perfect and just leave the house if we are clean and without flaws. I want to be arranged and taken care of, but I do not want to depend on it always. I want to go out one day without makeup and not be bothered by it.

I fully understand all the complexities we may have, I have huge, but I do not understand how there are people who let themselves be dominated by them. To the point of not doing things, not leaving home, not wearing specific clothing. I would like no one to feel this way, I would like everyone to face their pet defects as I stare at my feet (I included in the other defects more difficult to accept). Yes, they are crude, ugly, imperfect. But they are strong, they support my weight, they put on my vanity shoes, I can take things with them because my fingers are immensely mobile, I shim them and I play sports with them, I photograph them in relaxed scenarios (hello summer clichés) and demonstrate a peaceful state of mind. And these are just feet.

And if we do this exercise, look for the benefits in the parts we least like in our body? What if we disconnected from the absurd need to try to look good? I bet anyone who sees me does not even notice my ugly feet. And if you notice ... it does not hurt the world. I'm even happier like this ...